In the United States, we are taught that at least according to our constitution, all men are created equal. It took over a over sixty years just to put an end to slavery. It took another fifty years before the concept included women. It took another sixty years before laws and court decisions enforced the concept that all men and women are created equal in the views of law. Yet , there are many examples of social bias, prejudice, discrimination, and injustice.
The cause of freedom and justice continues across America and the world. Perhaps that battle is even more obvious in our homes. The very nature of marriage and family life are threatened by the thirst for equality and domination. Political and social forces reach into every part of our lives. Some of this may be good, but some also disrupts the operational relationships of the family.
How does all of this affect our marriages and homes? Apparently, it has affected thousands of homes as indicated by the over half of first marriages and over two thirds of second marriages ending in divorce.
Where can we find foundational principles to guide us in our marriages? As a Christian minister, I have discovered some critical principles revealed in the Bible, however, I have been pleasantly surprised to find that these same ideas are also recommended by many of the authorities today on success in marriage.
Rule one: Man and woman are intended to share life. The creation story states that woman was made from the rib of man. Woman was not made from a foot, a hand, or the head; but from the side. This establishes the principle of equality and mutuality.
Concept B: Marriages flourish when led by husbands of integrity, industry, and sensitivity. Good leadership lifts the whole family. The husband needs to project a vision of family mission and set the pace toward achieving that dream. With compassion and a listening ear, the husband willingly sacrifices his own welfare for the benefit of his marriage and family and their mutual mission.
This leadership includes obligations to protect his wife and family from all manner of dangers. There are thieves, robbers, gangs, enemies, and evil forces that threaten the family. The husband is charged with the responsibility of protection from all threats.
Third Rule : Husbands provide. Husbands work to provide food, clothing, and shelter for his family. It is his responsibility to provide for his marriage and family. This means he must give his time and energy to earning a living, providing a home, supplying the basic needs of his home. He must willingly sacrifice himself, his sweat, his best efforts to meet his family’s needs. A wife who joins in to help her husband gives him precious support.
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Principle D: Companionship is the mission of a wife. Her duty is to join her husband to mutually pursue the dreams of marriage and family. Honor, respect, and assistance are the wife’s critical contribution. She needs to willingly give herself to meet her husband’s most basic needs.
In a sense, woman must submit herself to her husband, but notice the word “sub..mit” actually involves giving oneself into the mission of the family. This is not a matter of wills. When the family battles over control, everyone loses.
Evil is evil. Wrong is wrong. Hate is hate. There can be no excuses for abuses, but the solution to all of this calamity is genuine self sacrificing love. When a husband loves his wife, he protects her, provides for her, cherishes her, and empowers her. When a wife loves her husband, she honors, respects, and supports him. She gives herself freely to bless their union.
When husband fulfills his role as defined by these Biblical principles, the marriage and family are blessed.
Marriages thrive when wives dedicate themselves to their husbands standing with them and for them.
This is not as much a matter of bondage or freedom as it is a matter of mutuality, leadership, and giving to advance the welfare of the whole family. Marriage requires serious effort. To learn more about the fundamental commitments made when a man and woman marry, explore the vast resources available to you through the resources below.
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