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Obviously, one of the issues to consider about depression is difficult emotions. Feeling unpleasant about oneself. And when you do consider it, you can see that we all operate from a box or paradigm about our own emotions. A very simple box or paradigm.
We all have emotions that we enjoy having or feeling. A normal list includes Love
happiness
contentment
Excitement
Enthusiasm
hope
Enthusiasm
These feelings we all call “good emotions.” We like feeling them and want to do so all the time. However, what are some feelings we don’t want to feel? Consider if a lot of these emotions fit in that category for you;
Anger
Sadness
Fear
loneliness
loneliness
hate
Emptiness
shame
These are what we call bad emotions and we try to avoid them as much as possible. If we cant avoid them, and cant help but feel them, we try to get rid of them as quickly as we can.
What then is this paradigm or box we operate from concerning emotions? That there are “good” and “bad” emotions, of course. Each one of us just seems to “know” that there are good emotions and bad ones, and the point of life is to work to feel good ones and avoid feeling bad emotions. This assumption about emotions goes unexamined by all of us. Of course that’s how you manage your emotions!
Given that, all of the emotions that go with depression we characterize as “bad” emotions, and we just “know” that our job is to try to avoid or get rid of these feelings at all costs. So you could say that we’re stuck in a box about depression, which is that depression – and all the feelings that go with it – are bad. And we should resist all the feelings that go with this condition.
But there is an underlying problem to this approach of trying to avoid or get rid of all the feelings that go with depression. It is founded in an “emotional mistake” we make every day. This mistake is about not trying to feel bad emotions.
So try on the concept that you have an emotional “body,” and that it has a job to do. The job of your emotional body is to feel all feelings. Good ones like inspiration and enthusiasm, and bad ones like sadness and anxiety. It’s job is to feel ALL feelings, whether you like some or not. You can’t stop your emotional body from feeling your feelings, that’s what it does.
Your skin can’t help feeling hod or cold, smooth or coarse sensations. You skin is an organ and it feels whatever it comes in contact with. In that same way emotional bodies are supposed to feel all emotions. Not just good ones. You can’t keep from feeling negative feelings. It goes with being human. And when you try to resist or avoid feeling bad feelings, they just tend to get stuck. They stay around longer. In a way, then, trying not to feel the emotions that go with depression can cause the depression to stick around, it can keep the depression from simply passing on through you!
So to get out of the box of depression, one method is to learn emotional intelligence so that you can move difficult emotions through your emotional body quickly. There is a lot to this for which there is no room in this article, but 5 minutes a day of exploring a difficult emotion can begin to free up your emotional body.